Inspired from a Whatsapp conversation between the directors of Art Basel that has been published in the book The Well Fair (2016)here is a transcript of a WhatsApp chat between me (WFW) and JAMES WOODCOCK (AGIK), a long-term trusted advisorthat took place on October 25, 2016.

17:29:10 W F W: riding the train 💦 how are you?

17:32:34 AGIK: just woke up. this is my view 2016-10-25-PHOTO-00051222.jpg

17:32:57 AGIK: more important: are you going to the fair? #wtf

17:32:59 W F W: yup, did I send you my ad for the catalog ?  2016-10-25-PHOTO-00051223.jpg

17:34:45 AGIK: superlike! #realityfoodblogging woohoo! come and visit us at the artissima bloggercamp. 4 – 6 nov. we are all naked.

17:35:56 W F W: ah ah yes 🐟

17:36:22 AGIK: but wait. i found this book for you. it’s all about your questions concerning the fair 2016-10-25-PHOTO-00051224.jpg

17:36:58 AGIK: “the well fair” Elmgreen and Dragset 2015

17:37:38 W F W: great! it sounds good, i already checked some projects they did during fairs a few years ago. i might have the link somewhere

17:37:42 AGIK: i actually wanted to steal it. but you know: not that skilled as you  😅  bought it

17:37:58 W F W: ah ah send me pics! 💪

17:42:03 AGIK : 2016-10-25-PHOTO-00051225.jpg bad booths are making yours look better 🏆🏆🏆

17:42:33 W F W: well its like the real estate market actually, nobody wants a junky center next to his house u know

17:42:59 AGIK: location, location, location

17:45:36 AGIK: wait, gets better! 2016-10-25-PHOTO-00051226.jpg they compare the art market with the one for drugs

17:48:33 W F W: they sound honest!!!  how crazy is that (btw: total disruption of topic but i just saw that 2016-10-25-PHOTO-00051227.jpg 👻👻👻)

17:51:59 AGIK: 😂 #johnwatersisonfacebook  

17:52:03 AGIK: do you know what Baldessari said of art fairs?

17:52:17 W F W: no but now i am scared 🙈

17:53:25 AGIK: going to art fairs is like watching your parents having sex

17:53:37 W F W: ah ah…he is the best. but hey, i shouldnt quip about a system that i am involved in and benefit somehow

17:55:31 AGIK: this is the base of freedom, babe

17:55:42 AGIK: actually Marc Spiegler said something that is not wrong: #fuckfairart made to sell easily

17:58:31 W F W: fuck! it’s super cynical

18:03:02 W F W: the more i think and the more i dislike the convenient aspect of the fairs coz u know i am a romantic. i like travelling hours in trains to one exhibition in the middle of nowhere 😅 and in the end seeing the art is always a surprise…good or bad (cheesy, i know. as usual)

18:04:19 W F W: i only went to artbasel cause im living next to the space ah ah…and hey those events are important somehow

18:05:27 W F W: so bad i dont have the number of HUO. i should send him a one question interview “what is an art critic doing at an art fair?” 😸

18:06:46 AGIK: HUO is an art critic?

18:07:01 W F W: idk 😂

18:10:15 AGIK: i just found a pic of you at the fair 2016-10-25-PHOTO-00051228.jpg

18:10:15 W F W: a pity that it’s not a gif with the boobs shaking

18:11:35 AGIK: still wondering why they invite you #superstrangegreat

18:12:43 WFW: coz i am good in stories…ah ah…and i like art…well idk, we don’t really care do we?

18:13:44 AGIK: this is so you:

18:16:01 W F W: wow such an idea #artgangster

18:18:16 W F W: btw i found the link of Elmgreen & Dragset previous fair projects but there is not a lot explained there

18:20:28 AGIK: this conversation should be your second post babe 🍆

18: 21: 35 W F W: like what? a transcription you mean? but doesn’t that look silly? boring? and pointless?

18:25:22 AGIK: its a whatsapp conversation. they are always silly and pointless. thats the point of it.

18: 26: 35 W F W: wrong. sometimes they are kinky.

It means:

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